"It's a Festivus for the Rest of Us!"

Happy Festivus, everyone! 

To be fair, I didn't even know that Festivus was celebrated on December 23rd until I was wished a happy one today by my neighbor. 

For those of you not familiar with Festivus, it is an alternative celebratory holiday that stands in direct opposition to the consumer driven, commercialized Christmas holiday. The holiday was created by Daniel O'Keefe, a writer and editor. It was first brought to prominence in the 1997 episode of Seinfeld called "The Strike" when the Costanza family are seen celebrating Festivus. Traditional decor for Festivus is an aluminum pole, due to its great strength-to-weight ratio. Other aspects of Festivus include a Festivus dinner, the airing of the grievances, the feats of strength, and Festivus mircles.  

I've just eaten dinner...so here we go!

I have a lot of problems with you people and you're gonna hear about it!

First off, I'm going to aim my hostility at Kmart. That's right, I'm talking to you Kmart! You should have been out of business by now as it is! Why haven't you died, gone out of business, conceded to Wal-Mart, and Target. I mean, target has your same color scheme and are a far superior store. Now, I could forgive your still hanging around and might not even had singled you out if not for those STUPID GIFing out commercials you have been running lately. STOP IT! You aren't hip. You aren't cool. You are dated and way behind the times. I swear, if I ever meet a person who identifies as a member of the Kmart marketing or advertising team I will punch said person right in the throat. 

Next, we have "Facebook Culture". Or perhaps I should say "Mass Media Syndrome". Either way, I'm sick and tired of hearing that this celebrity said this and this meme everywhere and that meme everywhere. Fucking communicate with one another already! Stop sharing every stupid thing you come across! Actually evaluate what is worth your time and thought, and go from there. For God's sake, it's like people just turn on the computer and see a picture and if it stirs ANY kind of response--be it anger, or happiness or a slight derisive chuckle...it doesn't matter, if ya see it it's being reposted reshared retweeted rehashed all over the fucking place. Again I say STOP IT! Hell, I don't care if we all go back to arguing about which monkey/clown/imbecile the GOP and/or DNC are going to trot out for the next round of shit-slinging, at least then we'd have some dialogue rather than image after stupid image after stupid video after...Facebook is starting to really live up to its name and it seems like all I see are pictures and videos, and it wouldn't be so bad if there was some minutiae of substance to most of it, but there is NOT. I realize that I could circumvent this particular grievance if only I got off the Facebook, and you know what, after this year, I just might do that. 

Thirdly, and on a related topic, because social media is where I seem to get this the most--leave celebrities the fuck alone! For crying out loud people, some of the things I hear you say and see you post online about people like Miley Cyrus and Kanye West are just ridiculous. I pick those two because they are the two who I have noticed it biggest with in the last few months, so it's more relevant than dragging up Michael Jackson or Paris Hilton. Do you really think it benefits anyone at all to spew some of the vile atrocities that are regularly dolled out about the rich and famous? They are entertaining you, and you find it necessary to put yourself in a place of moral superiority for some reason or another? Fucking STOP IT. You aren't better than your neighbor and you aren't better than the stars you watch on the screen and tear to shreds when given the chance. We are all people and it is cowardly to talk shit about people who are never going to confront you. Furthermore, it is childish and desperate. So do us all a favor and if you don't have anything nice to say, shut your fucking pie hole. Can that be done?

Finally, the finger of grievance must be pointed unflinchingly back at me. Over the last year I have been a lazy lout living at home with my mom and sister. I've neglected working as much as possible. I got a job and got to eating healthy and running and I even went back to college. But all that shit went by the wayside soon after the school year started didn't it? Why? All because you lost your girlfriend, wasn't it? She was keeping me grounded and she gave me purpose. She was my cheer leader and gave me a reason to succeed because let's face it I am a TERRIBLE self-motivator. I have to be working for the approval of someone, and someone specific. Well that's just asinine. I am never going to get anywhere if I can't step up and do something for my own benefit. Especially this "running away" bullshit. I'm planning on up and leaving my home here in Marshall to go visit my family up north and then to stay in Kentucky for a while, working my way down to Florida and then New Orleans. What the actual fuck is that? I have no sense of dedication or responsibility. Discipline is something I don't know the meaning of. The only reason I'm letting myself do it is because I can't stop me. But it's a real fucking stupid idea, in many regards. Best of luck, but seriously---fucking crazy. 

Now, any of you motherfuckers think you can pin me to the ground, come at me. Let the feats of strength commence! 

;)

 

Talking to myself, again.

I don't know. I'm trying to talk myself out of it. Out of running away into the great unknown.

Stay here and make some money here. Get stable here. Stay close to family and friends here. Plan here. Live here. You can do it, Kyle.

But the thing is, I don't believe it.

Why? Why can't you just go get a job at a factory here in town or in Paris, get some steady money coming in and then decide where to go from there?

Because I am afraid of getting complacent. I've already become complacent. I don't HAVE to get a job and work here. I could keep slinging weed and keep a few bucks to my name here, and that would be enough to keep me from going out and working, because it's easy. It isn't taxing, or exacting...it's just filler, fluff, something to keep passing the time. I don't want to just pass the time. I want to live it.

Then do it, it's a conscious decision.

And I can't make the conscious decision here. It's like there is a cloud, a fog, something masking my ability to see beyond the mundanity of it all.

You have made the conscious decision to leave here, why can't you make a conscious decision to stay to do what you need to do to make a life and just seize it. Life is life and there are going to be people of all kinds where ever you go. Some will be your friends, others couldn't care less about you. Doesn't matter if it is Marshall, IL or New Orleans, Louisiana or Kentucky or Florida or Washington or Toronto or where ever the hell you think you are going.

"You never know where love will grow..."

It's not growing here...

No, no it is not.

"Please let me stay, here the words that I say. Now you know, it's not that far away. I hope your dreams come true, oh yes I do. Deep down in my soul."

What is that you keep quoting?

It's the song I'm listening to, it's called "Dreams Come True" by Spatial Unity.

Spatial Unity. That seems somehow significant. 

You think?

"I hope your dreams come true, oh yes I do. Oh yes I do. I hope your dreams come true. Oh yes I do. Oh yes I do. I hope your dreams come true. Oh yes I do. Oh yes I do. I hope your dreams come true. Deep down in your soul. Deep down in your soul."

That's really nice.

And I want my dreams to come true.

I want them to come true too, man.

"Tomorrow's child is reconciled by the love that's in your heart. The gift of wings will always bring a never ending dream that floats away."

So we're going to be dream chasers?

I think that's been decided.

But what if you never catch it?

It doesn't matter.

What? Do you really believe that it doesn't matter?

Yeah. I mean, every day offers a new chance and a new opportunity to chase the dream.
It really isn't about ever grabbing hold of it. For a time I might live in it. But I'll invariably
lose it again. And then what?

So you are denying a state of permanent stability because...?

Because I get bored with things. I live and love a certain way. I've always been running away. I haven't found something to run towards yet. For now, I just want to run. Away and to and neither one. Is that so incomprehensible? To run for the sake of running?

It isn't incomprehensible. It just seems foolish.

Well, I'm a Fool.

I'm not a fool.

I know you aren't. You are a Hierophant barred by two swords. It doesn't work for you.

What is all of this nonsense you are linking to, these tarot cards?

They do a pretty good job describing us. Yeah, I am a fool. But you. You don't even know what or who you are or want to be. I do know. I know the high priestess has gone away and imparted in me much of her wisdom. I think I see a star and it's time to follow it.  Listen, until you drop your pair of swords, get the devil off your back, pick up three or eight pentacles, stop drinking from five cups and cut it to three...until you do at least that much, I really don't care to hear from you. I'm running from you too.

We can work together.

No, we really can't. Not here and now. Someday, if you return with more resolve to be who you are and not just a broken version of what others want you to be, we can't work together. If you feel like you have something to say I'll listen. Just...we have things to figure out, and I don't think our ideas meld well at this place and time. I'm sorry. That's all I have to say for now.